Late to the party, or why iPod Shuffle is really and truly terrifying.

I ran across this meme here. I’d seen it appear in part at Mr. Sean’s place, and here. I guess I’m a little late in getting around to it.

I’ve always been a fan of what I describe as “minimal prophecy.” The hints and signs that one finds through any number of techniques often are useful in shaping what one does and how one does it. So I’ve been amused in the rise of the use of the iPod as a prophetic tool. My only comment is that I still want to know what kind of algorithm Apple uses to “randomize” the shuffle function.


How does the world see you?
Une Histoire d’amore, Gabin
Christ on a cross, an Italian boulevardier? Must be the Armani, Zegna and Zanella.

Will I have a happy life?
Through Hollow Lands (for Harold Budd), Brian Eno
One of the eeriest actual songs Eno wrote – although isn’t channeling composition by chance (editor's note -- that's "Oblique Strategies" for you Enophiles) through iPod shuffle an example of meta meta? I suppose this means my life is spooky – but not this kind of spooky.

What do my friends really think of me?
Mutterlandelei, Richard Strauss/Kiri Te Kanawa
My life as a leider. Hmm. Does the German really cut through the Scots and the French and the Russian?

Do people secretly lust after me?
Acetone, The Crystal Method
Oh dear. Not quite sure where to go with this.

What should I do with my life?
Giant Steps (Alternate Take), John Coltrane
Given that I believe Coltrane was a bodishattva, and his music is the embodiment of what practice really means, I get it. And am flattered.

Will I ever have children?
Andar Com Fe, Gilberto Gil
This damn song always brings tears to my eyes, of joy, for reasons I don’t understand. Of course, it would help if I studied Portuguese more. At least it’s happy. Not sure about the kid thing, though.

What is some good advice for me?
Anyway, Telepopmusik
Be contrary.

How will I be remembered?
The Sheltering Sky, Ryuichi Sakamoto
Full on romanticism meets Piazolla. Jacques Morelenbaum’s high register cello and David Nadin’s violin sound as much like a bandoleon as I can imagine. The Satie bit has always bugged me. The novel is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever read. One could be remembered in worse ways. Perhaps Motley Crue’s “Come On Feel the Noise”?

What is my signature dance song?
The Wrong Band, Tori Amos
Tori playing a waltz about infidelity and sexual perversity: Sounds about right. Surprised “Leather” didn’t spin up, though. Or “Vertigo.”

What do I think my current theme song is?
Daddy’s Gonna Pay for Your New Car, U2
Well, there’s the U2. “Daddy only gives you as much as you can take.” I’m shaking – this is wayyyyyy too close to the bone. Only Bono can make a song that’s about God sound downright dirty.

What does everyone think my current theme song is?
Stop Running Away, Telepopmusik
OK, this really needs to stop.

What song will play at my funeral?
Under the Cherry Moon, Prince
Is my iPod possessed? Or is it a function of the music I’ve selected for it?

What type of women do you like?
Bonita, Bossacucanova
Brasilian(-ish) music. Brasilian women. Beauty. Enough said. I wonder what it would have done if the question were, “What type of men do you like?”

What is my day going to be like?
Predictions, Suzanne Vega
Sweet baby Jeebus. I guess we need to add the iPod to Vega’s litany of prophecy.